So.....I was at the tanning salon the other day and they were playing a radio station on XM radio. Besides the content of the songs, what I could actually figure out between all the profane words being bleeped out, there are the DJ's that get into these controversial discussions. I am sure it's to get listeners to interact with them, and most of the time I just shake my head and ask why..but this particular discussion even made me want to call in and set them straight. The subject was should you get married or not? It all started with a comment by Hulk Hogan made to his daughter Brooke about how she should never get married. He told her it just messes things up. She told him she wanted to get married some day and his response was..."Please don't!" The only married DJ agreed with him that it does mess things up. However, it wasn't things in general he was talking about.....it was actually sex. In his statement of this he had decided that ALL marriages come to a point where the wife begins to ration out sex. This is a man who is not a Christian....at least I heard no evidence of that....and while he said that other things were great, he basically stated that sex was the most important part of marriage and everything else was not worth spending the rest of your life with one person if that wasn't good as well. At this point I am now thinking that it's good I can't call in, because I would have blasted the guy first by telling him he is shallow and selfish.....and that his motives for getting married in the first place were lacking and misguided. Then as I listened to callers backing up his opinion, I was getting even more aggravated. A bright moment was when this gal called in. She sort of backed him up except that she went the other direction....She said yes, marriage changes things...and that her husband had also changed...he no longer bends over backward to please her, he doesn't do the romantic things he did when they were dating and first married....but she learned to accept it as part of life and let it go. She decided that even though he didn't do some of those things, she still loved him and it wasn't as important to have a hopeless romantic catering to her every whim as it was to have a life partner to share things with and grow old with and just plain grow with.
I still had my opinions of course....because now the DJ also stated that women tend to let themselves go....he may have indicated that men do the same, but given that I have already pegged him as selfish and shallow I now wondered why he would even care that they let themselves go if he wasn't getting the amount of intimacy he wanted anyway? Perhaps he had made derogatory comments about his wife's weight and suddenly sex is diminished!! Then I thought had he ever stopped to think of why the sex was 'rationed' out. Maybe he changed too. If he is making these statements on the broadcast, maybe he was indeed the shallow selfish and now insensitive person I had him pegged to be. Obviously, everything in his life revolved around his needs or desires....and it didn't seem to matter to him if people who knew him and his wife heard it. How would his wife take this topic of conversation that she seemed to be involved in by proxy? Well....in his words he stated that he may be headed for divorce court. My question.....would that be before or after this conversation on the airwaves? I find it hard to believe that such a person who found it easy to sum up the value of his marriage as now worthless due to a lack of sexual intimacy based on his own desires and apparently quotas, would be gentle and sensitive at home. He obviously didn't care about her needs or desires. If he were caring for her the way he should be, then maybe sexual intimacy wouldn't be so elusive for him! If he didn't place that in such high value and demand maybe he would be satisfied with what he had!!!
Obviously this guy married for the wrong reason. There is a difference between sex and love. I once read that marriage isn't just finding the right person, it's being the right person. Something this guy and many others (women included) need to understand and strive for. Someone else once said, "you don't have to taste hamburger to know you have steak!" If more people would stop building up unrealistic expectations based on their own needs and desires and strive to meet those of their mate, there would be less divorces and less unhappily married people. It's hard to be selfish when you place your mate higher than yourself!! I am not saying that things won't change. I'm just saying that changes come about for a reason.....it's called life and if anyone expects marriage to be one long orgy then he had better re-examine his reasons for getting married in the first place....because he is obviously not thinking with his heart!!
